Lidia
by BrookeSutter
Summary: She hadn't seen him since his wedding day, but he sees her every time he closes his eyes. Clarke left Camp Jaha five years ago with a life-altering secret, what happens when she returns? (Reviews tell me I should continue...great motivation...)
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1:

Low wispy moans pierced the gray horizon, touching the crashing, rhythmic waters that rested before her cerulean eyes. "Hurricane?" Her raised eyebrow was an indication of the bitter sarcasm that leaked from her usually steeled demeanor. The precedent of her question being _another _when referring to the harsh storms that tormented her otherwise perfect home. Her nimble fingers delicately trailed through golden waves of hair as she released an unsteady sigh, dropping her hands to her sides in the process. "We aren't prepared for this weather—not after last time."

The taller woman with fierce green eyes mimicked Clarke's behavior, equally annoyed and partially scared of the change in atmosphere. Thea, a native to the oceanic tribes, knew of the treacherous storms and their historically disastrous nature. The woman appeared to be in her thirties but she once divulged over the mysterious grounder wine that she was only twenty-four. Thea was branded with symbolic marks—a custom of her people—but her compassion and innocence seeped past the scars indicating the number of kills and the tattoos indicating her clan position. Her dark brown hair cascaded down her back in intricate, complicated braids that highlighted her olive complexion. Clarke considered her a _friend _of sorts—that is, if a friend is solely defined with the knowledge that said person would die for you. "What are your orders, Chancellor?"

It was a joke or the best attempt at a joke that Thea could muster up in light of things, "I regret telling you of my past." Clarke mumbled distractedly as she watched a seagull dip around the shore, creating chaos with the other birds. "We should move towards our allies."

"You're not seriously considering fleeing back to your former home, are you?" Thea furrowed her eyebrows, "Lexa made sure you were always welcomed here and you haven't mentioned returning in four years. Four very pleasant years, I might add…what's a little rain?"

Clarke bit her lip before turning her entire body towards Thea, "She wants to know why she doesn't have a dad like everyone else, Thea. I'm not talking about permanently moving back _there _but how much longer can I keep her from him? It's not her fault we couldn't get our shit together long enough to make it work out. Three days, long enough for this storm to pass and long enough for me to tell him about her."

Clarke had been a co-leader, a partner, a best friend, a medic, a traitor, a recluse, a _bitch _according to some people but her title as mother was her favorite. Lidia was born on the first day of spring, a sign of good faith to the people she lived with. She was truly the most beautiful little person she'd ever seen even when she flashed that devilish smirk and informed her of what she was, and was not, going to do. _"She has your eyes…" _seemed to be only thing people could atone to Clarke when it came to her physical appearance, though. Fortunately, Lidia seemed to be highly intelligent for her age mostly due to her impressive observation skills—much like her mother. The brunette would run around the entire village asking monstrous amounts of questions concerning the body modifications each person seemed to have and more importantly, family structure. Her friends constantly talked about their fathers—how brave they were, how they hunted last week, how they were warriors and eventually, Lidia became slightly envious that she only had a mother who fit under both categories concerning the mother and father dynamics.

And much like anything else, Clarke would do anything to make Lidia happy without lying to her. She never had the strength or courage to lie to her daughter due to her personal experiences.

"The whole village isn't going to pack up and leave. The elders will want to stay and so will some of the younger clansmen. Who do you want to go with you?" Thea asked, "Choose wisely…not saying that I'm your wisest choice or anything but I meet all the qualifications."

She snorted and let the wind carry her hair as she thought over the group she wanted to take with her. They lived in a small community, less than fifty people in the entire village. Twenty of those people were elders, fifteen were warriors typically away doing their duties in other areas, and the rest were political leaders or people with status. Clarke wasn't the _leader _but if something suddenly happened to the old man who reigned loosely over them, she would become the de facto spokesperson. "Obviously I want to take you and Lidia would be highly upset with me if I didn't bring Uncle Briggs and Aunt Stella."

"So me, Briggs and Stella?" Thea seemed satisfied but then she opened her mouth to add another name to the list, "What about Layne?"

"Layne?" Clarke wanted to hit her for bringing up the man who followed her around, proposing left and right because he thought she was _beautiful _and _special. _Layne was attractive with his sandy blonde hair, sun kissed skin and hazel eyes but he was not the _one. _It could be said that he was the exact opposite of the _one. _"Because introducing Lidia to her father is code for romantic adventure."

"What's he like?" Thea asked slowly, "You never talk about him…is that because he broke your heart?" Memories of their relationship flooded Clarke's head as if the thought of returning to a place she hadn't seen in five years broke down the dam she'd built just for _him. _The first kiss, the first night together, the first confession of love and the goodbye, the lies, the hatred, the turmoil… it all rose in her chest until it felt like five years ago all over again—until she felt like she was pregnant and alone all over again.

Clarke cleared her throat, "Something like that."

Thea waited for a more elaborate response.

"Like I said before, we were a mess. We couldn't figure out what we wanted and it destroyed us, I guess. Still, just because we didn't work doesn't mean I had the right to run away and never tell him about his child. That was selfish. I was selfish, not just concerning him but concerning Lidia as well. She has a right to have a relationship with him."

"She's four." Thea stated, "You're all she's ever known. Her curiosity will pass, I don't know why you're pushing this."

"Because it's the right thing to do. It just took me a long time to figure it out." Clarke didn't want to fight with Thea about her decision—it'd been made and Clarke was the type of person that stuck with her choice once it was established.

Thea ran her tongue across her teeth before mumbling, "What if he's got a completely different life now? What if he's married?" Clarke's wry laugh caused Thea to frown, "What?"

"He is married." Clarke shrugged, "At least, the last time I saw him it was his wedding day so…I don't know, his life and the trouble this might cause him doesn't really concern me. If he's a complete ass about it, as he is about most things, then we'll know. I'll be able to tell Lidia the truth rather than a poor assumption based off of my own bias." She inhaled a large breath before continuing, "My intentions aren't to get him back or ruin his life. This is for Lidia. It's always going to be about Lidia."

"I wonder what he's going to think about the name Lidia…"

Clarke shrugged, "I don't know, I don't really care either. His sister helped me name her…you know, after Lexa and Indra delivered her." She practically sang her daughter's name, "Lidia Octavia Griffin-Blake."

"Not that last names really apply here." Thea commented, "So, when do you want to leave?"

"As soon as possible."


	2. Chapter 2

**Review! Review! Review! If it sucks, review! If you love it, review! Suggestions? You know what to do!**

**-Brooke**

Chapter 2:

Octavia Blake fluttered her eyelashes, letting out a girlish giggle as Lincoln kissed her sweetly on the jaw. It was a typical morning in her hut and everyone, including her annoying brother, knew not to disturb. Lincoln softly spoke as he went through the day-to-day agenda concerning their lives, none of which captured her attention. "…Indra said a hurricane is brewing on the Eastern coast." The statement alone caused her to straighten up her body, "I could send a rider to check on Clarke and Lidia but you know how the riders love to gossip." Ironically true for death-mask wearing, silent types. "Almost as much as you do, Octavia…"

The brunette cracked a smile, "She's going to be five soon, you know?" Octavia was very fond of her niece even if she hadn't seen her in two very long years. Of course, Lidia could barely speak at two years old so Octavia couldn't explain all the things she wanted to explain to her "twin", as Clarke affectionately called her, over the course of her life. It was difficult to see Clarke and Lidia in the first place, let alone maintain constant communication—Clarke had rules.

Strict, unwavering rules.

Rule number one involved Octavia keeping her distance from the ocean village because the people of the woods made them nervous. Octavia had only been to Clarke's home twice on account of Clarke giving birth to Lidia and the time the first leader passed away and Indra was required to give a speech for Lexa but Lidia was only seven months old at the time of the funeral.

Rule number two was more an unspoken rule, unless Clarke's repeated _"Let's not talk about Bellamy.",_ "_Please Octavia…don't mention him_", and _"O, I just can't go there with you"_ happened to be an indication that she did not e_ver _want to know about Bellamy's personal or political life. Octavia reluctantly abided by that rule even if she had a thousand things to tell Clarke about Bellamy and life at Camp Jaha.

Even if Octavia found Clarke's rules extremely unfair, she understood that the former leader wanted Lidia to have a good life. If Octavia was constantly around, her absence would certainly trigger some unwanted questions in Camp Jaha—Indra would most likely understand given the fact that she knew of little Lidia. If Octavia roamed freely in the ocean tribe village, even on rare occasion, there would be questions and rumors that would circle back to enemies or even worse, her _dumbass _brother.

Okay, maybe she was over-doing it when she claimed Bellamy was a dumbass. He wasn't exactly incompetent but some of his past mistakes, including Clarke, could serve as a fair argument against his case of "intelligence." He loved Clarke, really and truly loved Clarke and what did he do? Threw himself into a political marriage because he didn't feel like Clarke was happy.

Fool.

They just came back from a war against the Mountain Men. The rush of starting a new relationship quickly faded and the trauma of their actions, their experiences, and their rugged mental health didn't scream _"We're happy, everything's fine!" _He thought he was doing the right thing by letting her go. Damn him, really, because he wasn't _just _letting her go—he was letting his happiness go as well. And maybe after everything she went through with Finn, Clarke didn't want to fight anymore. So, she didn't. She let him, let her go and then she let herself go right out of the gate to never return.

That was Octavia's summary at least, five years makes all the drama hazy. She was vaguely aware of fights and arguments and a disapproving mother but that was _then. _Bellamy didn't marry the grounder chick from the Plains Clan because _she _never showed up. Apparently, he wasn't the only one who wanted to call off the wedding, he was just the only one without the guts to actually do it. In typical Bellamy fashion, he recovered—sort of. Octavia swore up and down that he would never recover from loving Clarke but people often disagreed with her. They said, _"He's moved on, Octavia. Are you sure it wasn't you that loved Clarke?" _Okay, that was Miller…one time…when he was highly intoxicated. The point being, Bellamy started frequently dating multiple women.

Something that he is still doing at 28.

Something that Raven snorts and says, "That's cute" like he used to do to her whenever the subject is approached. Raven is another person Clarke's been completely missing out on. She moved on, too… much to everyone's excitement with _Wick_. At least Raven and Clarke parted on pseudo-good terms unlike Clarke and her mother.

God, her_ mother_. Octavia didn't even want to go down that route. Abby Griffin never really got over the Bellamy and Clarke relationship outcome—not even a little bit.

"Maybe after the storm passes, we can visit…" Octavia said, "Things have been so busy lately, I feel like I'm failing at my job as favorite Aunt. That woman, Thea, might be taking my place as we speak."

"No one can ever replace you, Octavia."

She sighed heavily as she remembered the bouncing curls of her niece, "She probably can't even remember me." Lincoln ran a hand across his face and watched Octavia smile. "I love you, Lincoln…" She said softly, "I'm lucky to have you…can you see it the way I can see it, though? How happy we could have been if they just _fought _harder…you and me, Bellamy and Clarke…and Lidia. We could have had such a great life."

"Who says we still can't?"


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3:

"So, let me get this straight—" Briggs' low booming voice interrupted Clarke's steady pace, causing her to stumble over absolutely nothing. They'd been roaming through the different terrains for almost a full day, putting a real damper on Clarke's time schedule. Thea quickly noted how Clarke's _three days _turned into a full week at the drop of a hat. At least Stella fully supported her alteration. "—you're just going to walk into camp and say, what? Hey, this is your daughter. She wants to know you. Come on, Clarke, your plans are historically better than that." He was right, as always. Clarke knew she was being foolish thinking that she could just walk through the electric fence, which she swore she would never step through again, with a four year old daughter and microscopic pieces of hope.

Clarke shrugged, glancing over her shoulder at her daughter. Lidia had fallen asleep an hour ago on the back of their horse, clinging to the hair to keep her grip. Stella commented once or twice about moving her but Clarke denied the request. Stella normally got under Clarke's skin because she preferred to hover but she was a good friend. She cared deeply for Lidia and that's all that really mattered in the end. Unlike her other friends, Stella was significantly older. She was at least thirty-seven years old without any children.

It made sense that she would cling to Lidia.

"It's not like it's going to be easy no matter what I do." Clarke claimed, "It's not just about Bellamy. I need closure. I need to say goodbye to these people for good. Especially if things fail with Bellamy. I don't know what we're going to do if he wants to be part of Lidia's life. I don't know how we're going to handle things." Clarke sighed, "I just know that we have to do something for Lidia's sake."

"Right." Briggs nodded, "If he turns out to be a complete ass-hat, I'm going to gut him."

"Really? Language." Clarke scolded, "That's exactly what she needs to repeat to my saintly mother." She snorted at her own joke, "Uncle Briggs taught me tons of ways to say I'm going to kill someone. Cool, right?"

He chuckled, "Whatever, little mama."

…

"Lidia, honey…" Clarke pulled her daughter onto her hip. If she weren't used to her weight, she would probably peel over. "Don't pull my hair, okay?" Lidia nodded sleepily, gripping her mother's shirt as they walked through the vaguely familiar forest area. Thirty minutes and she would be in front of the electric fence. Thirty minutes and she would have to face her every fear. Her heart was beating out of control and her throat felt like it was going to close up.

She would probably shoot Bellamy if he rejected their daughter. It was a simple thought in her head, at least. She didn't know what she was going to say, what she was going to do, how she was going to introduce Lidia to everyone—she just knew that she had to.

The minutes passed and before she was ready, she was in front of the gate. It was opened and that struck her as odd. They'd always had a closed-gate policy before. "Let me take her." Stella said and Clarke passed Lidia off to her. She needed both her hands free in case she needed to choke someone out. Her little group blended in with the other travelers. Other grounders moving in and out of her former home like it was an open market.

Times were changing, she understood this.

She was surrounded by strangers until she saw the familiar pin-back of her mother's hair. It was the same style Clarke sported for years. She started to breathe heavily before Thea pushed her forward, "Mom!" The word fell off her lips and before she knew it, she was faced with a woman she'd spent a lot of time trying to avoid. "Uh…hey."

Abby was shocked to see her.

The silence between them indicated this.

Her mother went to open her mouth—to say something after all the years of silence. But a little voice broke through whatever she was going to say. "AUNT OCTAVIA!" Lidia squealed over all the ruckus around them at the sight of the brunette and her very large Lincoln one hundred feet away. She wiggled through Stella's grip, her feet hitting the ground in a run.

"Okay, so that's my daughter Lidia." Clarke told her mother with wide eyes, "And I'm going to chase after her because she runs really fast." She left a shocked Abby to follow after her daughter. By the time she caught up, Octavia was holding Lidia in her arms. Octavia was holding her little girl tightly, hugging her with the widest grin on her face. Clarke stopped running and panted. "She's really fast."

"Clarke!" Octavia squealed in a Lidia-like fashion, "Holy shi—crap you're here! You are here!" Her excitement died, "Oh my god…you're here and Bellamy is here and oh my god… oh my god."

Eventually, Thea caught up with Clarke and Lidia. "Well, look at this. Family reunion. Um, Clarke…kind of think your uptight mother over there is havin' a panic attack." She nodded, "Nice to see you again Octavia."

"Thea." Octavia nodded, "I see you brought Briggs."

"That I did." Clarke forced a smile because her heart was breaking apart by the minute. "Listen, uh, you know why I'm here. We knew this day would come and Lidia wants to meet him. She wants to meet Bellamy and I can't tell her that she can't. So, I'm here…"

"Aunt O." Lidia hummed, "Uncle Briggs said that if—" Clarke clamped her hand over her mouth and shot a look over her shoulder towards Briggs.

"Can we just get this over with?"


End file.
